Before you ask, no. I never regretted starting my anime journey. If anything, anime has become a huge part of my life and I never intend to let go of it. I mean, I wouldn’t start this blog if that wasn’t the case. Ever since I first saw an episode or two of this particular and unique art form in my elementary school days, I knew I was hooked. Its apart of what defines me now. If anything, this post is a somewhat older and experienced fan looking back on where they are now and wishing for a time period that their mind wasn’t molded in what it is now. I am incredibly jaded by what I’ve seen and sometimes I wish this wasn’t the case. With this disclaimer out of the way, now onto the show!
Do you guys ever wish you could restart how you dove into anime the first time or just restart watching anime in general? I know I do at times Every once in a while, I get completely jealous when I see someone join the fandom for the first time. Everything that they are going to watch is going to new and interesting for them and are only going to be the building blocks for what they want out of this unique art form. I do realize that some of these people might be confused or shocked by what they see and never return to it, but happens with any fandom. There is a small weeding out process that occurs to get the people who want to stick around hooked and others out of it. Still, even with this threat in mind, I wish I could start watching anime with a clean slate again. No biases or opinions to hold me back from watching one show after another. I would able to watch and enjoy in its purests form. As much as I try to do that now, I am still held back from what I’ve seen and what I’m willing to try to shake my opinion up. The mold is set, and in some forms of manufacturing, it is almost possible to change after its set (unless we are talking thermoplastics but that doesn’t help my point here). Having a mind that can watch everything is much easier with a clean slate.
On a smaller level and approachable level, I wish I could rewatch some shows for the first time. Seeing some people watching shows like Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood and Hunter x Hunter for the first time makes me feel jealous. Those people are having the same kind of reactions and emotions to certain scenes that I used to have when watching them. I’m jealous that I can’t go on this journey with them. If you can tell, I’m not the kind of person that forgets what they watch after a while and then can go into the show again like its new. No, I remember main plot details, characters, and action scenes from shows like these for a long time. Especially when they leave a strong impact on me. My long term memory is both a blessing and a curse. I haven’t watched Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood since I first watched it about five years ago, but I still remember almost every single detail about it because it’s such a great show with a lot of power behind it. When I eventually watch it again, I will be looking for details that I missed instead of diving head first into the unknown the same way I did the first time. In some ways this could be considered a good thing, because I can look into the show more deeply than before, catch some connections and plot threads that I didn’t see the first time, or many other things. Still, the impact FMA:B had on me is strong and will be in my mind forever. Somebody please take my memory of the show away so that I can watch it again for the first time. It’s so unfair.
If there was anything that I learned from watching a lot of science fiction, it’s that changing the time line can result in disaster. Who knows how changing what kinds of anime I watched and how I watched them in the past can change the world. Maybe giant monsters will appear from underground and start wiping out humanity or an alien invasion will occur for the same reason. It also might be possible that Nazis won World War 2, even though I’m changing something from the 90’s. That’s just how time travel works. In all seriousness though, if how I started my anime experience was ever rebooted, who knows how it would actually turn out. There is no set way that it would happen with the worse result being that I would never get into anime beyond the first episode of what I saw on toonami years ago. I guess in the end, the manner of how much of a big fan I’ve become is a million in one chance that somehow worked out in my favor, according to the me of this specific timeline.
In the end, I think I talked myself out of ever wanting to restart anything that I’ve done. I’m always going to be a little bit jealous of those who start anime with a fresh point of view and people who watch different series that I loved for the first time. That is just life I suppose. New people are going to join the fandom all the time and all I can do is help these new fans out and lead them into some sort of direction that can help them out. I know this blog isn’t going to get hits from every single new fan, a small fraction of them maybe, but I can hope those who randomly click on this blog. Thank you for reading through how my mind works. I hope I didn’t bore you guys with this post. Do any other experienced anime fans have thoughts like this? Please let me know in the comments below.